smoke in my head

hey..
how do you tell 
if someone loves you? 
how do you tell them 
even when they said 
so it wouldnt go through my thick skull of insecurities? 

how do you tell them that 
i'm drowning in anxiousness 
and worries? 
how do you tell them 
that i'm suffocating with 
depression and i couldn't even breathe fine? 

how do you tell them that 
my head is constantly hearing 
ticks and tocks, self doubt and hate?
how do i reach out through all of these voices that echoes? 
i cant see myself anymore but can you? 

i can feel myself slowly dying. 
how do you apologize that 
if we met sooner i wouldn't be this fucked up 
and a mess in front of you? 

how do i tell you that i want you too?