goodnight, i love you still.

it was never anyones job to take care of my demons.
it was never anyones job to take care the voices.
it was never anyones job to take care of me
but myself

i have strayed, been strayed for the longest time.
i could not even know who i am right now.
but, i should, don't i?

i would never be mad at the universe
for the things that happened
how could i be?
when she was the universe herself.

i'm not good at writings or about feelings
never said that i'm an expert too
i took a lot from the universe
how will i ever be forgiven?

but in that chaos i created,
i learned how to grow
i learned to cherish once more
i see the light at the end of this tunnel

i was so close, but i let my demons take control of it
and from then on, i start to fall in love with chaos
i yearn for chaos and destruction
i want to destroy, even the one i made.

and how forgiving the universe is,
even after i took her to the edge
she still holds me down and calmed me
the raging fire started to dim

she would wait, wait, and patiently wait
she believed in me that there is more beneath those chaos
she believed that i will come back one day.

and here i am.
trying to put on seeds on top of the things i destroyed.
building brick by brick so it will be firm.
i hope i'm not too late.

i hope you could see
what i sow today
i dedicated all

to you

and only you

my universe.