six and threes at six threes

now she's out of the picture, i can breathe at ease.
selfish? yes.
does it hurt? a lot.
will i regret this? maybe,
one day.
but i guess its for the best.

to be honest, lately, i don't remember when, but i've been thinking about myself, about my future.
looking it at every possible perspective, there's no light. it's all dark. i rather walk alone to the chaos that longed me. i will walk that path eventually.

i can't possibly take anyone with me into the inevitable chaos that has chained on to me the minute i stepped into this world. right now, i can walk alone once again. it was nice, it was beautiful. the more i spent my time with her, the more i'm dragging her to the dark, dark abyss.

i can't take her.
if i have to go down, at least i'm going alone,
i won't drag her.

i know if i kept continue, no matter how much i want it, not matter how much i love it, i know i can't. people will say i'm stupid. i am if i continue, i am if i bring her too, i am if i smudge over the white paper that was meant for her to write herself.

i guess what will last is my worn blue jeans,
the hole that never cease to close,
the days i had full of you,
the constant terrifying voices,
intensifying feeling by absence,
but not me, i'm done and will walk alone to the unknown.

i don't know, but this is how i'm repaying what you did to me.
i will not drag you down,
it hurts and all i can do is be alone,
all the things we could've known,
take it, its not for this clown.