all warriors knows memento mori, but i didn't get the memo

did i mention to you, i have a habit where i like to write on tissue paper? well, this is one of them. i wrote this a while ago when i was still in between the line of being alive and dying. i had this constant nightmare where when i wake up, it would just be darkness. as time went by, i gave in, accepting fate for what might happen.

all people has their future, of course, including me. difference is, mine is already written. i envy those people who has full powers of what they have. now, moving on. i have been telling you i have roamed in this purgatory for quite awhile, no? i lived a long life, but, alas, in a short time. if one day, if  i am here, beside you and the next day i'm nowhere to be found. don't panic, its as simple as i went home first before any of you did.

they say i should be thankful, and so i will be.

how do you tell that you're dead?
is it when you finally found sanctuary and knowing nothing will hurt you?

how do you tell that you're dead?
is it when you stop worrying about what will come after this very moment?

how do you tell that you're dead?
is it when you get dressed up in fancy clothes and sleeping in a comfy bed?

how do you tell that you're dead?
is it when you easily stop thinking what you don't need to think about?

how do you tell that you're dead?
is it when you close your eyes and not fearing what will grab you in the dark?

and, when you're dead,
do you forget about everything when you were still breathing?

well, i guess i am pretty much alive  then.

sribbles on a piece of tissue