it would be nice for a change,
to not hide and be anything but a wreckage.
it would be nice for a change,
to be like a normal person would do.
it would be nice for a change,
to let people know that normal is a dirty word.
it would feel nice for a change,
to be shown, even for just a split second.
it would be wonderful for a change,
that i'd be someone whose normal in other people's eyes.
Sunday, February 26, 2017
Monday, February 6, 2017
a man from north came to visit to wake me up
when will you stop?
i'm guessing not in this life, not when you're still alive.
you're a pain.
me? a pain? you should see you contracted you - us for that matter and see who is the pain
what do we get for this?
some things happened way before this, i'm not surprised you don't remember.
so do you?
no, i don't.
and after we conversed about many things, a glimpse of who am i, a little bit of everything. i became more at ease talking to the voice that i repressed for lord knows how long. the more i talk, the more i felt familiar with everything and my purpose. crazy? i think so too. to be really fair, a side of me doesn't like this, i don't want to be crazy talking baloney. after all, i despise those people - pity, i am becoming one of them.
after 21 years setting foot, i asked why now? why not sooner? better yet, why not never? i showered myself with hurricanes of questions that never cease to end just to find myself in square one.
then comes the greater question, why me out of all people it can contact, it has to be me. i can't even finish anything right, let alone being in a contract with it.
but little by little, i have finally grasped where i am from, why i am here but still don't know, why me. i can't be greedy, can't i? at times, i wished myself to not know any of this stuff, being blind for my own good. i have not yet come to terms with that, but where things are going, i'll be there soon enough. when i'm ready to face everything and accept everything that has been happening.
all i know, the place i'm from is not made of glitters and gold. desperation and tears are just dust there, i won't be explaining much, besides, this platform is where i keep my thoughts from going anywhere. so this is just a reminder. there will come a day where i'll leave, once this is done and maybe by then, i'm free.
i'm guessing not in this life, not when you're still alive.
you're a pain.
me? a pain? you should see you contracted you - us for that matter and see who is the pain
what do we get for this?
some things happened way before this, i'm not surprised you don't remember.
so do you?
no, i don't.
and after we conversed about many things, a glimpse of who am i, a little bit of everything. i became more at ease talking to the voice that i repressed for lord knows how long. the more i talk, the more i felt familiar with everything and my purpose. crazy? i think so too. to be really fair, a side of me doesn't like this, i don't want to be crazy talking baloney. after all, i despise those people - pity, i am becoming one of them.
after 21 years setting foot, i asked why now? why not sooner? better yet, why not never? i showered myself with hurricanes of questions that never cease to end just to find myself in square one.
then comes the greater question, why me out of all people it can contact, it has to be me. i can't even finish anything right, let alone being in a contract with it.
but little by little, i have finally grasped where i am from, why i am here but still don't know, why me. i can't be greedy, can't i? at times, i wished myself to not know any of this stuff, being blind for my own good. i have not yet come to terms with that, but where things are going, i'll be there soon enough. when i'm ready to face everything and accept everything that has been happening.
all i know, the place i'm from is not made of glitters and gold. desperation and tears are just dust there, i won't be explaining much, besides, this platform is where i keep my thoughts from going anywhere. so this is just a reminder. there will come a day where i'll leave, once this is done and maybe by then, i'm free.
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