to who it may concern, its not for you

you wore your scar, like the ring of a king
you drove your wrecked ship into the deep
you walk through the dark, like a walk in the park
you had the answer, in people's hesitation

you show your broken wings with pride
a symbol you conquered your demons
you kissed with those sad lips
as you conquered your fears

tell me,
what was the best lie you hear?
who was those tears for?
when did you find yourself?

tell me everything that made you hurt.
show me the scars you hold pride.
welcome me to your arms,
tell me there's no harm.

to whom did your laugh for
to whom did your finger typed for
to whom those hands were kept
from who did you hide

how many if and but did you utter
and how many were answered?
how many did you say leave
and left alone when they did?

i want to know you,
i want to know you,
i want to know you,
in this wicked world,

i want to know you.

goodnight, i love you still.

it was never anyones job to take care of my demons.
it was never anyones job to take care the voices.
it was never anyones job to take care of me
but myself

i have strayed, been strayed for the longest time.
i could not even know who i am right now.
but, i should, don't i?

i would never be mad at the universe
for the things that happened
how could i be?
when she was the universe herself.

i'm not good at writings or about feelings
never said that i'm an expert too
i took a lot from the universe
how will i ever be forgiven?

but in that chaos i created,
i learned how to grow
i learned to cherish once more
i see the light at the end of this tunnel

i was so close, but i let my demons take control of it
and from then on, i start to fall in love with chaos
i yearn for chaos and destruction
i want to destroy, even the one i made.

and how forgiving the universe is,
even after i took her to the edge
she still holds me down and calmed me
the raging fire started to dim

she would wait, wait, and patiently wait
she believed in me that there is more beneath those chaos
she believed that i will come back one day.

and here i am.
trying to put on seeds on top of the things i destroyed.
building brick by brick so it will be firm.
i hope i'm not too late.

i hope you could see
what i sow today
i dedicated all

to you

and only you

my universe.